When It Got Easy

I work in a small office doing shipping and odds and ends for a manufacturing company. Today I went to lunch with my favorite trucking sales rep. She's beautiful but not a supermodel (certainly not heavy, IMO) but she's open about her efforts with diets and working out and she's one of very few people I feel comfortable sharing my own efforts with. Go figure.

 

In any case I was sad to find that the restaurant had changed their menu from what they listed online, so I actually had to pick something. She mentioned a burger and oh man did it sound amazing. Instead I got a half sized Greek salad with chicken. I hardly thought about it. Two months ago I would have justified the burger and fries and then felt crappy afterwards. Today I don't even feel cheated, even if the grilled onions looked delicious.

 

I don't kid myself into thinking that this will ever be easy. I was raised on fried everything and I love it. But it's starting not to feel like I'm missing out anymore. This might actually be it. I could really do it this time.

A Purpose

I'm not ready to share this yet, I'm inconsistent and to be honest not all that interesting. I start blogs. I abandon them. I restart and abandon again.

For now this is just for me. I'm coming off a month of eating better. Maybe not well, definitely not perfect, but better than I ever have. Except maybe that month after mom showed me PETA's cow video and I went vegetarian for a bit.

Token Fat Girl died this past weekend. She was 30. That cemented every bit of willpower I have in me. I want to see my son graduate. Hell, I want to see him start kindergarten, and it's so easy to just NOT be able to.

I'm not going to pretend I have an exorbitant amount of weight to lose compared to some other people. The last time I stepped on a scale I was at 204, and the girl at the gym estimated me at 180 so I must "carry it" okay. But, I've lived my whole life in a family that really doesn't bother too much with healthy eating. Introducing them is a whole other post, but dinner at my mom's is meat and potatoes. Sans veggies completely unless she and my step dad are in the mood for grilled asparagus. Before that I lived with my grandma, who didn't cook ever, so we had takeout or fast food nightly. With her I did have fairly healthy lunches and breakfasts though, she was a nurse so my lunches especially loaded up the veggies.

Anyway, this might be a weight loss blog. Or a lifestyle one. Or a cleaning one. I'm working on a lot of things right now that I'd like to document. For accountability alone, I guess. I'm messy. I'm lazy. I have a lot of things I want to improve in myself and I miss writing. So, here goes I guess. Blog# 972.